Balancing Work And Family -
How Busy Working Parents Can Make Time for Mindfulness - Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN
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Summary.
If you’re a busy working parent, how do you build mindfulness — the practice of paying full attention to everything you do — into an already-packed day? Those of us with kids and jobs are constantly multitasking, juggling personal and professional responsibilities, and feeling stressed about all we can’t get done. There will never be enough bandwidth to devote large amounts of time to meditation. But you can get a mindfulness practice started in small, simple ways. For example, before your first sip of coffee, take a moment to smell the aroma and take three intentional breaths. At work, pause each time you sit at your computer, feel your body in your chair, your feet on the ground. At dinner, ask your family to spend a minute reflecting on where the food came from.
It seems everywhere you look these days someone is touting the benefits of mindfulness — a practice that Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, describes simply as “paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.” Research shows that people who practice mindfulness are less stressed, more focused and better able to regulate their emotions.
But,
if you’re a busy working parent, how do you build mindfulness into an
already-packed day? Those of us with kids and jobs often feel tired and
rushed. We’re constantly multi-tasking, juggling personal and
professional responsibilities, and feeling stressed about all we can’t
get done. According to a
Pew Research Center analysis, 56
percent of working parents say they find it difficult to balance their
time between work and family. Though I now counsel others on how to
break this cycle, I can certainly relate to it.
You and Your Team Series
Stress
Years
ago, I worked as Twitter’s head of learning and development when the
company was growing 350% year after year. It was like being on a rocket
ship, and I loved the work. But I found myself struggling to stay
connected to my family. I can remember the afternoon my son’s school
called to make me aware that no one had come to pick him up. He was in
first grade at the time, and I burst into tears.
Although
I was already committed to a mindfulness practice (I would sometimes
sneak away to the meditation and yoga room we had in the office), I was
still having trouble figuring out a way to weave presence and awareness
into my day. Here’s the solution that I came up with and now recommend
to others:
Start
by spending a few minutes writing down what you do each day. It might
look something like this: wake, coffee, family breakfast, pack lunches,
prep for school day, walk dog, shower for work, drive car, train ride,
walk to office, work all day, walk to train, car ride home, dinner, bath
time, family reading or games, bedtime.
Now consider where mindfulness practice can fit in. For example:
Coffee:
Make sure to pause before the first sip. Smell the aroma, feel the heat
of the mug on your hand, and take three intentional breaths. Now enjoy.
Train ride: Once
you’re settled into your seat, set a timer for five to ten minutes and
practice mediation. Sit in silence and focus on your breathing or use a
mindfulness app on your phone to listen to a guided meditation. Your
eyes can be open or closed depending on the situation and what feels
safe or comfortable.
Work:
Each time you sit down to your computer, take a pause. Close your eyes,
notice the sensation of your feet on the floor, your body in your
chair, feel your breath come in and out of your body. Continue with your
day.
Dinner:
As you are preparing the meal, spend a moment reflecting on where the
food came from. Imagine who planted it, picked it, or drove it to the
store where you purchased it. On occasions when your entire family is
sitting around the table at the same time, take a moment to feel
grateful.
Bedtime:
Decide on a ritual that cultivates mindful awareness. For younger
children, consider having them put a stuffed animal on their belly as
each of you count how many times the animal rides up and down with their
breath. If your children are older try a head, heart, gut check-in at
bedtime. Is the mind busy or calm in this moment? Are any emotions
present or lingering from the day? Is there anything that needs to be
shared or said that has not been already?
Does mindfulness seem a little more doable now?
Research
indicates that it takes just eight weeks of relatively regular practice
to make positive changes to the brain. But if we wait until we have
enough “bandwidth” to devote big blocks of time to it, we may never
start. For working parents, my advice is to instead insert just a few
small moments of mindfulness into your day, even — and especially — when
life seems too busy, hectic and out of control.
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